So I must admit I am totally depressed lately… hummm I think that for the past 2 and a half months. I blame it on the job up until now and I think it had it’s share in this but I am also so incomplete… when my boyfriend first told me that he feels incomplete without me I laughed and just thought ‘he’s so slick’ you know man tell a lot of things they don’t mean but tell anyway so to make us (girls) feel better… but now I realized that I indeed feel incomplete without him. I was in the most beautiful town in the world (maybe), Rome, and still I felt so… not like I should have. It’s lonely without him and it sucks really. I am so not in the mood of doing anything and all I want is just be… somewhere… today I was at the ‘office’ and I start crying, I don’t know why, or maybe I do, I feel so bored and let down by everyone around, I feel lonely, I feel sad, I feel like the weather outside, cold and cloudy,,, lifeless ufffiii the list can go on forever.
I don’t want to be like this but I can not help it… I don’t know where is the old me, the happy one… I tried to keep myself in a good, positive mood but it usually doesn’t last more than 2 consecutive days :)
I am mostly lying to myself that things will be better, that I can do this, etc. etc. but I do not know how can one overcome the time?! I am just waiting for the time to pass and I can not be glad about anything real… I don’t want to go for a walk, I don’t want to come here, at work, I don’t want to go home either, I can not start my German lessons nor my English ones, I am only working for the money, I feel no joy in what I do and that is tearing me apart, I am simply apart. Besides all that I am still alive and breathing and waiting and wanting and hoping…
And at the end one little ‘game’:
5 Things found in my bag: keys, wallet, notebook, handkerchiefs, lipstick.
5 Things found in my room: hummm… candles, magazines, clothes, laptop, cosmetics… lots of those :P
5 Things I always wanted to do: go to Venezia in February, lighten up a room with 100 candles (more or less), move away from my parents house, learn to swim, learn to dance.
5 Things I’m currently into: finding a job, reading stuff on the internet, Italian music, movies, drinking lots of water/tea :))
So I think this is a nice post, isn’t it :P I am looking forward on what future has for me!
I don’t want to be like this but I can not help it… I don’t know where is the old me, the happy one… I tried to keep myself in a good, positive mood but it usually doesn’t last more than 2 consecutive days :)
I am mostly lying to myself that things will be better, that I can do this, etc. etc. but I do not know how can one overcome the time?! I am just waiting for the time to pass and I can not be glad about anything real… I don’t want to go for a walk, I don’t want to come here, at work, I don’t want to go home either, I can not start my German lessons nor my English ones, I am only working for the money, I feel no joy in what I do and that is tearing me apart, I am simply apart. Besides all that I am still alive and breathing and waiting and wanting and hoping…
And at the end one little ‘game’:
5 Things found in my bag: keys, wallet, notebook, handkerchiefs, lipstick.
5 Things found in my room: hummm… candles, magazines, clothes, laptop, cosmetics… lots of those :P
5 Things I always wanted to do: go to Venezia in February, lighten up a room with 100 candles (more or less), move away from my parents house, learn to swim, learn to dance.
5 Things I’m currently into: finding a job, reading stuff on the internet, Italian music, movies, drinking lots of water/tea :))
So I think this is a nice post, isn’t it :P I am looking forward on what future has for me!
Un comentariu:
draga Cris, cunosc senzatia asta de lipsa care apare intr-o relatie la distanta, si din pacate nu i-am gasit niciodata remediu... poate doar sa te focusezi pe ceea ce ai si pe ceea ce simti (iubire) si mai putin pe ceea ce lipseste... asta ca sa nu superi destinul care ti-a dat ceva frumos si tu esti suparata ca de ce nu iti da exact ce vrei tu
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